Connection is the Key

My husband and I have begun a new activity – we are taking a night or two out of the week and reading instead of sitting in front of the TV. I’m am already a reader and lover of books but what makes this activity new for me is intentional time reading alongside my husband and sharing what we are reading together.

What Happened To You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey, is providing a plethora of information with much to think about, learn from and discuss. Towards the end of chapter two which is all about seeking balance, Dr. Perry enters a narrative about the importance of connection. He says that the most powerful form of reward is relational and “positive interactions with people are rewarding and regulating. Without connection with the people who care for you, it is almost impossible to step away from any form of unhealthy behavior” He goes on to say that the key to changing damaging and addictive behavior is connectedness.

This emphasis on connection and relationship not only fascinated me but also had me thinking about the moms we will be welcoming into our support home. We have felt that connection is the missing piece and Dr. Perry provided language and an explanation for that.

The moms we serve are finding themselves in a place with damaging patterns and very little connection, all while a great deal is being asked of them in order to reunify with their children. It’s no wonder we see many unable to make the changes that need to be made for a healthy self and a healthy family, as Dr. Perry explains it is nearly impossible to do without healthy relationships and connection.

This is why we are opening a support home with connection at the center of all we do – because we know that we grow in relationship and we need each other. I have no doubt that along with stories of families healing and getting back together, we will also have stories of the people who have worked with our families being changed, after all, “The most powerful form of reward is relational”.

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